Weekend Writing Warriors ~ Foolish Lad

Hello and welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors, the blog hop where writers from a wide variety of genres share from their work in excerpts of ten sentences or less. Everyone is invited to join in, whether you’re a reader, writer, or alien scientist examining Earth’s internet transmissions from space.

I’ve been sharing from my never-ending WIP, a reimagined fairy tale in which Snow White is a put-upon young prince and the huntsman may be a romantic hero, or a dastardly villain.  In this scene, Gabriel (the prince) and Gavin Falkner (the huntsman) have a tracked a noble, snow white (quite the coincidence) stag into a meadow in the forest. Gabriel reluctantly prepares to kill it.  (PS I know having two G-named main characters is stupid, but I haven’t decided how to change that yet. Working on it!)


Gabriel removed bow and arrow from the quiver at his side as quietly as he could. Once in hand, he inspected the lethal head of the arrow and experienced a sharp vision of red blood staining the white fur.

He blinked away the stupid, unreasonable moment of queasiness, and lifted his gaze along with the shaft of the nocked arrow.  The stag seemed unalarmed, grazing without much heed of the dangers around it.  At such a distance, and presenting such a broad target, Gabriel couldn’t miss.  He did enjoy target practice, and had won many a competition at it, besting even Falkner on occasion.

As he took aim, the stag lifted its mighty head and gazed calmly in their direction, clearly seeing the two men lurking in the bushes. Why won’t the damn thing run? Gabriel stared straight into the deer’s large black eyes and saw intelligence there.  Foolish lad, he heard his stepfather’s voice scolding him, animals don’t have hearts and minds like we do.


Alpar Benedek | Dreamstime.com


Blurb-in-progress for Snow, a reimagined fairy tale:

Following the death of his mother the Queen, Prince Gabriel is called home by his brother, now King. Gabriel hopes for a reconciliation with his estranged brother, but all is not well at Castle Rosenthal. King Tristan has fallen under the sway of a scheming alchemist and along the border of the Black Forest, magical denizens are on the move. Gabriel begins to fear for his life. Is the handsome huntsman in on a plot to assassinate him, or is there an even darker, more evil power afoot? A forced flight into the Black Forest may expose ancient magic at work, if Gabriel can survive long enough to uncover it.


Weekend Writing Warriors is a blog hop where writers from a wide variety of genres share from their work in excerpts of ten sentences or less.  Click the link to check out the other writers participating today.  It’s a great way to discover your next favorite book.

8 thoughts on “Weekend Writing Warriors ~ Foolish Lad

  1. He’s in such a bad situation, between having to do what his brother wants and wanting to do what’s right. About the two G names, it’s something that has been pointed out to me in my stories as well, but I don’t always find it distracting. In this story, I have a clear vision of both Gabriel and Gavin and I don’t confuse them. Just wanted to mention it.


  2. Oh my, is he going to go through with it? Is he going to miss and be a hero for the stag but annoy the hell of his step-father? What would be the consequences?
    Very visual and emotional scene.


  3. I have a feeling the stag knows something he doesn’t, or else has some supernatural qualities. Either way, it’s an engrossing snippet! I do agree two G names presents a problem, especially where they interact so much. My editor always gives me that note – I seem to like “K” names.


  4. Pingback: Weekend Writing Warriors ~ The Right Decision | Alexis Duran

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